Tag ArchiveParenting

ByDr. Berney

What is Autism Spectrum Disorder

Welcome to The Mental Breakdown and Psychreg Podcast! Today, Dr. Berney and Dr. Marshall discuss the symptoms associated with Autism Spectrum Disorder and our evolving understanding of this lifelong condition.

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ByDr. Berney

13 Reasons Why Examined – Introduction

Welcome to The Mental Breakdown and Psychreg Podcast! Today, Dr. Berney and Dr. Marshall kick-off an event series on the Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why. In this introduction, we provide considerations as you plan to view the program as well as strategies for parents to use if/when they discover that their child (pre-teen or teen) watched the series without the parents’ consent.

Over the subsequent weeks, we will break the series up by “Tapes,” which will make more sense to you as you view the series. If you are unable to attend the live event via YouTube, each discussion will be posted as a podcast on iTunes and as a YouTube video on the Saturday following the broadcast.

We look forward to these events and cannot wait to interact with all of you.

Here is our tentative schedule. Note that each broadcast will begin at 6:30 pm EST. Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, and/or YouTube for the links to each event.

Introduction Thurs. 4/27/17

Tape 1 Mon. 5/1/17

Tape 2 Thurs. 5/11/17

Tape 3 Thurs. 5/18/17

Tape 4 Wed. 5/24/17

Tape 5 Wed. 5/31/17

Tape 6 Thurs. 6/8/17

Tape 7 Thurs. 6/15/17

We hope that you will join us each morning so that we can help you make your day the best it can be! See you tomorrow.

Visit Psychreg for blog posts covering a variety of topics within the fields of mental health and psychology.

The Parenting Your ADHD Child course is now on YouTube! Check it out at the Paedeia YouTube Channel.

The Handbook for Raising an Emotionally Health Child Part 1: Behavior Management is now available on kindle! Get your copy today!

The Elimination Diet Manual is now available on kindle and nook! Get your copy today!

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About our theme song:

Happy Boy Theme by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/)

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100647

ByDr. Berney

Digital Heroin

Welcome to The Mental Breakdown and Psychreg Podcast! Today, Dr. Berney and Dr. Marshall discuss the relationship between video gaming and aggression seen in children when asked to transition.

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ByDr. Berney

The Parent-Teen Control Battle

Welcome to The Mental Breakdown and Psychreg Podcast! Today, Dr. Berney and Dr. Marshall present a new approach for ending the parent-teen control battle.

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ByDr. Berney

Are You Using Time-Out Correctly?

Welcome to The Mental Breakdown and Psychreg Podcast! Today, Dr. Berney and Dr. Marshall discuss how 85% of parents are doing time-out wrong.

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ByDr. Berney

Cultural Differences in the Prevalence of ADHD

Welcome to The Mental Breakdown and Psychreg Podcast! Today, Dr. Berney and Dr. Marshall discuss some of the factors associated with the cultural variability in the prevalence and treatment of ADHD.

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ByDr. Berney

Attachment in the First Year of Life

Welcome to The Mental Breakdown and Psychreg Podcast! Today, Dr. Berney and Dr. Marshall discuss the importance of the first 12 months of life on all of your future attachments.

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ByDr. Marshall

Using Intention to Bond with Your Children

Last weekend, we had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Dr. Sara Langworthy (@DrLangworthy), a developmental psychologist living in Minnesota. Like us, Dr. Sara devotes much of her time to translational research. As the name implies, translational researchers seek to explain complex research studies in terms that layman (mainly parents and teachers) can understand and apply. One of Dr. Sara’s areas of expertise is the effect of early trauma and early deprivation on the developing brain (check out her website and YouTube channel). During today’s interview, she explained in clear and simple terms the many positive effects of staying close to our children, “getting down on the floor with them” as she put it.

What she was talking about was that parents need to be WITH their children. When they are young we need to be with them on the floor (as she put it), patiently helping them learn new things. When they’re older, we are WITH them in different ways, providing them with opportunities to become confident, resourceful, and resilient adults.  She also implied, though she never stated it, that we should ENJOY our children. They should not be an impediment, they should not be a nuisance. They should be the sunshine in our lives for the few short years that we have them.

The day after our interview with Dr. Sara, I discover an article by Erin Leyba under the heading Joyful Parenting, the title is “3 Mindfulness Tools Parents Can Use Bond with Children.” Bonding, that’s what Dr. Sara was talking about. I had to read on.

The article begins by explaining that bonding with our children is an intentional act. It doesn’t just happen. We must intend for it to happen. And then she gives us three ways to make it happen.

  1. Set Ritual Intentions. Rituals are the things we do with our kids that they enjoy. One of my favorites is “Every time my child walks down from the room in the morning, I will give her a hug and say ‘I love you so much.'” The other one I liked is ‘I will take my child to play outside for 20 minutes when she/he gets from childcare or school.’ We will always have other things to do, so we need to set ritual intentions so that the other things don’t crowd out our children time.
  2. Set Implementation Intentions. Remember that saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade?” Well this is the parenting analogy of that. Implementation intentions anticipate the bad times so that we can turn them into good things. For example, “when my child skips his nap, I will take us both on a walk and not let it ruin my day.” Think about your day. Where are the “hot spots?” And when things get bad what can we do instead?
  3. Use Visualization. Let the best possible scenario play out in your mind’s eye. This is what athletes do, they visualize the best case scenario. As a Floridian, I especially liked this one from the article, “Before a family beach vacation, a mom visualized herself walking on the beach with her daughter, playing in the waves with her kids, taking pictures of the sunset with her son, and snuggling and reading books to her 2 year old in the morning before the rest of the family woke up.”

Each of these is easy and, yet, they accomplish so much. Many parents think about things AFTER they happen, wishing they would have reacted differently or they had had a better plan. What intention allows is for us to think about things BEFORE they occur so that we are prepared to act and react in the best possible way.

ByDr. Berney

Dr. Sara Langworthy on Stress, Resilience, and the Developing Brain

Welcome to The Mental Breakdown and Psychreg Podcast! The human brain is an amazing organ. We are, for the most part, born with as many brain cells as we will ever have. And every life experience – good and bad – influence how it develops. We had an opportunity to interview Dr. Sara Langworthy, a specialist in brain development, stress, and resilience. You can purchase her books from Amazon in paperback.

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ByDr. Marshall

Failure to Launch – Part 2

A few days ago, I wrote a Morning Musing on one of the topics we frequently discuss in our office, FAILURE TO LAUNCH. Just before posting it, I added PART I to the title thinking that I would add to it later. Well, later came this morning. While perusing the internet, I came across an article by Dena Kouremetis, an author and mother titled “Failure to Launch: Whose Problem Is It Anyway?

Ms. Kouremetis begins with a fictional conversation between two baby boomer mothers, one of whom is terrified about the possibility of her 29-year-old daughter returning home to finish her degree. Though she loves her daughter, she definitely does not want her to move back home. But if she tells her no, what then?

She then goes on to provide this sobering statistic: “For the first time in more than 130 years, Americans ages 18-34 are more likely to live with their parents than in any other living situation… .” As for not letting go of our adult children until they have “found their path” she gets right to the point: Taking them back or supporting them financially simply delays the inevitable.

Ms. Kouremetis wrote this article after reading a two-part series by USA Today writer, Peter Dunn. I’ll be talking more about Dunn’s advice in PART III of this series, but if you happen to be a parent in your 50’s or 60’s and you’re still supporting an adult child, start by taking a look at the article by Kouremetis. While hers is a gentle reminder that it is a parent’s obligation to prepare children to become independent, she doesn’t mince words when she tells us that it is our fault if our children are not prepared by the time they graduate from high school, or, even worse, by the time they graduate from college.

We often remind parents that there are certain abilities that children should master by certain ages (see our podcasts for age 3, age 5, age 8, age 12, age 18). For example, five year olds should be able to regulate their emotions (no more temper tantrums); eight year olds should be able to keep track of themselves and their belongings; 12 year olds should be able to manage their own schooling; and 18 year olds should be able to take care of themselves with little or no parental involvement. If our child didn’t meet these milestones (including the last one), we haven’t done our job.

The final point that Kouremetis makes is that pushing an adult child out of the nest gets more difficult the longer they stay. It is easiest when parents treat it as a milestone to be achieved by the time the child is 18. Failing to have them ready to leave at 18 creates a “slippery slope” for both children and parents; as time passes, it becomes increasingly difficult to push them out. But push you must. Letting them stay attached to you denies them the opportunity to accomplish this crucial milestone.