Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child – Part One

Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child – Part One

It has been a while since I offered an update on some of the things we have in the works. So I thought I would take the opportunity in this mid-week post to catch you up a bit.

Parenting Book

On Tuesday May 9, 2016, the first section of the revised Handbook for Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child will be available through Amazon Kindle. Soon thereafter, it will also be available on Nook and in other e-book formats.

We are VERY excited about the release of Section One of the Handbook! Though built on the same framework as the original text, the revision offers additional insight, more detail, and more clarity to the concepts and perspectives parents need to raise emotionally healthy children.

Section One, entitled Behavior Management, will include an introduction and four chapters. The introduction outlines the limitations found in the traditional parenting approach of “reward and punish.” It offers readers an in-depth, though practical overview of this common method of parenting and leads them to the rational understanding that reward and punish is only one tool in the toolbox – and that many other tools are needed!

In the subsequent chapters, readers will travel through the four developmental stages of childhood, beginning with infancy and ending in adolescence. Each chapter offers readers insight into the normal variances of behavior present in each developmental stage. The reason for this is simple, one’s perspective of childhood behavior changes when one understands what is and what is not normal. For example, we all anticipate temper tantrums from two year olds; but why do they do it? Why do they throw themselves down on the ground, crying and kicking? When we understand the why, then we can respond appropriately.

Chapter 1 covers the developmental period from infancy through 2 years of age. This is a highly variable timeframe, as little ones develop from helpless neonates to rambunctious toddlers running through the house and jumping off of furniture. The main focus in this chapter is helping parents to ensure the child develops a healthy attachment to his/her caregivers. This attachment is one of the most important foundational aspects of emotional health, yet many neglect to foster a healthy attachment – not out of malice, but because of a lack of awareness.

Chapter 2 highlights the developmental period from toddlerhood through preschool (ages 2 years through 5 years). Development continues to progress very quickly during this stage, especially in the area of language and communication. Children go from saying two word phrases that only the parents can usually understand to full, complex sentences with good articulation and that convey a complete thought. Amazing! The primary focus during this stage is socialization through self-regulation and stimulus control. How does your child handle expectations, directions, or limitations? Can he/she manage frustration? Can he/she interact with other children and adequately control his/her behaviors and emotions? If we want our children to be ready for kindergarten, they must be able to manifest some control over their emotions and behaviors, and they must be able to navigate social interactions.

Chapter 3 focuses on school aged children (ages 6 through 10 years). As is the case with each stage of development, this one brings a new set of challenges for parents and children. No longer the primary influencing force in their child’s life, parents struggle with managing the effect that outside forces are now affecting their child’s psychological and emotional development. Children begin to learn skills and gain knowledge that may or may not be consistent with the values of the parents. One of the longest chapters in the text, Chapter 3 guides parents through some of these rocky roads. How do you respond to inappropriate behavior? How do you manage a child who is actually becoming his/her own person? Why do we insist on punishing, when we have so many other tools? This is sure to be a chapter you will want to read and maybe re-read a few times.

Section One of the book ends with Chapter 4: Adolescence. Beginning the chapter with the opening paragraph from Charles Dickens’ Tale of Two Cities:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity…

Chapter 4 helps parents better understand the needs of adolescents – who are simultaneously pushing their parents away, while trying to remain safe under their care. The dichotomy is challenging for the parents to understand, let alone the teen, who’s body is deceiving them through growth spurts and floods of hormones. How should a parent manage the years where the teen is on his voyage to the dark side of the moon? How much independence should they be given? And how do you trust them? Should you let her dye her hair orange? All wonderful questions that are answered in this chapter.

Things to Come

In the coming months, we will be releasing Section Two: Attention, followed – of course – by Section Three: Love. These sections are taking a little longer to revise, as we are completely reorganizing them. We believe that the new structure for these sections – which will generally mirror Section One – will provide better organization and reference for readers. We are very excited about how the book revision is shaping up, and we think you will, too!

There is still a lot of work to do, but things are certainly progressing. Section One of the Handbook can be preordered through Amazon Kindle starting Saturday April 30. It will cost just $4.99, and also will give you access to a webpage containing more than a dozen additional resources, tools, and strategies for you to use as you begin to implement the principles offered in the book. We hope that you enjoy it and that it helps you as much as it has helped others.