When The Going Gets Tough

ByDr. Berney

When The Going Gets Tough

W.E.F._Britten-The Early Poems of Alfred, Lord Tennyson – Mariana             Attributed to Adam Cuerden

We have all experienced times when everything just seems to flow. We get up in the morning, well rested, and ready to take the day head on. We love those days!

But we have also experienced those days where it takes all we have in us to get out of bed. On those mornings we hit snooze, then hit it again, and again. We just don’t have the energy or drive to get going.

Sometimes we have these days due to poor sleep. When we are not well rested  our bodies cannot fully recover from the previous day, leaving us drained, tired and unmotivated.

Other times we feel this way because of what lies ahead. Those days where, for what ever reason, we have expectations on our schedule that we would much rather avoid. While this can affect our sleep, it also creates anxiety and stress – a couple of the best energy consumers.

I am writing about this today for two reasons. First, I am dragging today. So it is a little exercise in catharsis for myself. Wednesdays are long days for me, where I start my day, writing this blog, at 5:30 am, and end my day when I arrive home from teaching at 9:00 pm. A long day, indeed. So when my alarm goes off on Thursdays, I tend to drag a little.

That is not really to complain. I do enjoy what I do and often find myself wishing that I had more time to do it. That said, well… again… there are just those days.

Second, I often meet people who experience these “down days” more regularly than others. People who feel depressed, for example, often complain about not having enough energy to get going. They battle avolition on a regular basis. And, unfortunately they often feel as though they are going at it alone. That no one else feels this way.

So this message is really for them. Those who feel depressed even though they do not have “Major Depressive Disorder.” You just feel down. How do you get yourself up and going, when everything inside of you says – or screams – “NO!”? Here are five things you can start today that will help you better manage those down days.

1. Get moving. I know that it is frustrating to hear, but it is the honest truth; the best way to create energy is to use energy. So you have to get moving. You have to get going. It is hard, I know. But the longer you sit in your chair or lay in your bed, the more that becomes your default setting. This is – quite literally – a combination of biology and the law of energy conservation. A body at rest will remain at rest until another force acts upon it. So Get Moving!
2. Get some sleep. This one is a frustration for people as well, but it is another truth. When you are not on a good sleep cycle, when you have poor sleep routines, when your body is in a constant state of sleep deprivation, your are not going to function optimally. It really is as simple as that. You will not be able to think clearly. You will not be able to make good decisions. You will feel tired and drained all the time. Good sleep hygiene is key. Although we often wear the badge of sleep deprivation as a symbol of dedication (“I only slept four hours last night, studying for this test!”), the effects it has on your body, especially when it is a chronic pattern, is profound. So Get Some Sleep!
3. Find your support. It is tough sometimes, but you have to find those people who motivate you. To be honest, you are one of my supports – who ever you are, reading this blog post. While I may not know you and may never meet you, writing this blog with the hopes that it will help someone is a motivating force for me. So you, in essence, are a support for me. Who is your support? Is it your spouse or significant other? Is it your child(ren)? Is it people you work with? Or your friends? Sometimes we need someone to help us get up and get going. Someone who will hold our feet to the fire, because they depend on us, just as we depend on them. When you have that support person, use him/her on these tough days. Work out a signal that says, “Hey, I am dragging this morning, help me up!” Your supports will be there for you. Most of the time, those supports are more than happy to help, because they know that one day they will be the one sending out the bat-signal for help and motivation. So Use Your Support!
4. Phone it in. Many times, to be direct and honest, you just have to make due. You may have no energy, no drive, no interest; but at the same time, you just have to do it. You may be sitting there, thinking, “This guy doesn’t know what he is talking about! How can I just make myself do it?!? If I could do that, I would!” Well, that was a little harsh of you, but let me tell you what I mean. For those of you who have children, I would bet that even when you are sick, tired, injured, or busy, you find a way to make sure your child eats. Sure, it may not be a well rounded, healthy meal. But you make sure that there is some food in his/her belly. Why? Ok, sure, because you could be charged with child neglect, but is that really any different than what I am talking about? Is making your child a meal something you really want to do? No. If asked, would you have said that you had the energy, motivation, or drive to make that meal? Probably not. So what did you do? You went through the motions and did what you had to do. It wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t even your best – though I am sure you make a wonderful peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But the point is simple, there are days when you just have to go through the motions. You just have to do the best you can. You may not get it all done. And you may have to work on it more tomorrow. But it is best to just do something. Sometimes, you just have to Phone It In, and that is OK!
5. Positivity. Lastly, another one that most people are frustrated to hear, but will reluctantly agree is helpful, is thinking positively. When we feel down and drained, what do our thoughts tell us? “I can’t.” or “I don’t have the energy.” or “There is no way that I can do this.” I could go on, but you get the point. We all have these automatic thoughts that come to our minds when we are battling against ourselves. When we know we need to, but do no really want to. I have found myself, on these dark and dreary days, lying in bed arguing with myself. “You gotta get up. Not really, it will be OK. Is that a sniffle? Am I getting sick?!? Maybe I could just use that as an excuse to stay home.” As I recognize what I’m doing, what this internal discussion is trying to do to me, I have to make myself think positively. I have to force my thoughts to change. I go on the attack! “Are you crazy? You’re not getting sick! Look, it’s going to be a tough day, but avoiding it will not make it go away. Just get up, do the best you can, and everything will work out just fine. YOU CAN DO IT!” Yeah, crazy, but I do that. In fact, those may have been the words I told myself this morning. And now, here I am 1300 words into this post, feeling more energetic, feeling more motivated for the day. A little positivity can go a long way and once you get some momentum, things improve!

OK. So there are a few things you can do to help yourself on those down days. Those days when you are just dragging. We all have those days. We all hate those days. So we must prepare for battle and make sure that they do not keep us from doing the things that we need to do. Start today, even if today is a good day. Start these new habits and you will find that you are better able to manage the tough days.

Good luck!